But there's a price: devoid of the vegetation to aid the water into the soil, the land must submit to the merciless torrent that rips through it, leaving gulleys, arroyos, and canyons. The force of these flash floods is beyond reckoning. John Wesley Powell witnessed the explosive power of such an event, jettisoned from a side canyon: a cannonade considered fluid only by the definition of physics, otherwise utterly solid by its mineral content. Had he been in its path, the added organic content would have been minuscule to the point of absurdity.

I'm sure everyone has their own version of how Holbrook got started. Sort of like the Nile, the river here comes from far to the south, in hills a number of cultures consider sacred. However, while the Hopi ancestors settled about 30 miles west at another bend of the river, they wisely avoided this patch of ever-blowing red dust. Before the railroad came, this location was noted during the survey of a rather doubtful wagon route. But then in a blink of God's eye, there came Aztec Cattle Company who, reminiscent of Leif Erikson's "Greenland," considered this location a prime place to raise cattle for profit.

The ancient and modern Hopi understood the utility of building homes on high ground while farming the river bottoms. For some reason, white immigrants have a hard time learning that lesson, and this stretch of river bottom proved no exception. When the Army Corps of Engineers came by half a century later, their response was to build a huge levee to accommodate the homes already built there. I have no idea what material was actually used in its construction, but personally I would never live downstream from it.

And so we come to the romance of the Hashknife. Hippies may imagine another meaning for that term, but the cattle brand actually represents a knuckle blade used to chop meat and potatoes into a form readily cookable for large numbers of hired hands. Legend has it that the hired hands themselves were a knuckle blade on the emerging community.

Let us now imagine ourselves in the presence of the founding fathers:

————

God, what I would give for a cold beer!

Amen!

Lord, I pray thee bless these withering spirits, with an abundance of the well-chilled fruits of thine gardens.

Padre, let me buy you a drink, and you can kick my behind anytime and welcome to it!

[thunder of hooves, then the smash of a door opening]

Ahh! There's only one way to wash down a mouthful of this dust!

Howdy, Vern. No beer came on the train.

[sound of a hand slapping a rear end]

I'll take what you have, Jess: there's many a lesson to be learned by kneeling and... oops sorry Padre.

My son, continue that thought.

...and taking the Lord's word along with a splash of swamp water.

Verily, wisdom cometh from buying a round.

Vernon Smithers, I have a topic to bring to your attention.

What's up, yer honor?

Well, I hate to say this, but the missus dung gum put her foot down, and I admit I agree with her. It's about the school fund. You and the boys take way too much advantage of this town without contributing to its advancement, and...

Say no more, I'll round up a collection.

Well, it's not just about that. I also had a talk with the law firm representing your owners, and times are coming to where a certain degree of civilized comportment is necessary to avoid unprofitable litigation.

You're not asking me to cut of my balls, are you?

No, no! But now that this town is established and growing, with several likely young lasses, might I suggest that the time is approaching to settle down and grow some deeper roots.

Hah! I'll take that advice for what it's worth, but for you I'm always good for a drink on the house.

And a rope on a limb.

Heck, Kenny, it don't matter. Even if it's the Lord's prophecy, I wouldn't change a darn thing.

Amen again, and I'll drink to that!

July 27, 2024